Updated

 
Baby Gwynneth Arrives - Feb. 7, 2002

Although hesitant, Dr. Werner, Mom, Dad, and Petocin insisted that Gwynneth Alexandria Boynton make her worldwide debut at 8:37 p.m. on Thurs., Feb. 7, 2002. She weighed in at 7 pounds, 11 ounces and was 20 inches long.

Thanks to close monitoring by Dr. Werner, there were no porcelain related incidences at the time of birth.

"All of us are utterly and madly in love," commented Maria, also known as Mom or Mommy.

"I didn't even go home and throw up this time," said Denny proudly.

The staff and services provided by BJC Hospital - St. Peters were excellent. Special thanks to Dr. Werner for her medical talent and humor, and to Carrie, Jane and Jill for their excellent nursing skills and patience.

"I couldn't have asked for a more positive experience," said Maria.

Email any thoughts or wishes directly to Gwynneth at gwynneth@boyntons.com.

Mema Shari's Visit is a Huge Success - Causes Rumors of Petition

Mema Shari and Papa Tom came to stay with Denny and Maria the night before Gwynneth was coaxed out. Papa had to leave on Friday afternoon, but Mema was able to take some vacation time from work and stayed for the entire next week. Papa returned to fetch Mema the following Friday, eventually departing on mid-day Sunday.

"Who would have thought it would be great to have your mother-in-law hanging around for an entire week?" said Denny. "I knew it would be good for the girls, but never anticipated that I would be petitioning the Pope for an elevated status. Okay, so maybe she falls a little short of Sainthood - being non-catholic and all. But he should at least give her a nod!"

"And she gets up at 6:00 a.m.," said Maria, "ON PURPOSE! She baby-wrangled, Josephine-wrangled, and Zoe-wrangled solo -- all before politely bringing Gwynneth into my bedroom to eat at 9:00 a.m. And she really does get up that early every day. Sometimes even earlier. I just cannot imagine."

"Mema Shari rocks," said Zoe.

"And she lets us eat lots of candy," said Josephine. "I think she likes Barbies too."

It has been rumored that Zoe and Josephine are drafting a petition of their own to transfer parental rights.

"Whatever," said Maria when asked about the petition. "They can't even write yet."

Requests for a mema-visit of your own can be sent to Mema Shari directly. Non-Mema Shari-child or Mema Shari-child spouse requests will probably not be honored, but it never hurts to ask.

We Knew Baby Gwynneth's Middle Name - We Just Lied

In spite of repeated inquiries and much prodding, Denny and Maria were able to keep Gwynneth's middle name a secret from all family and friends until the night of her birth.

According to Kabalarian Philosophy which, as I understand it, is just a weird but interesting philosophy about the meanings of names, the name "Gwynneth brings opportunities for success in business and financial accumulation. It fires you with ambition and promotional ideas, ideas that are original, progressive, and large-scale. With this name, success to you is a foregone conclusion, for you cannot conceive any reason for not reaching all your goals, as you have self-sufficiency, supreme confidence, boundless energy, and enthusiasm. As long as you have a sense of freedom from monotony and drudgery, and can see progress being made, you feel buoyant and optimistic. However, obstacles and frustration can give rise to feelings of impatience, intolerance, and depression. The ever-present desire to progress does not allow you proper relaxation or the proper expression of the softer feminine qualities of sympathy, encouragement, and affection. Others see you as rather shrewd and calculating."

Additionally, "the name of Alexandria causes you to place considerable importance upon the material aspect of life. You have an eye for quality, desiring always the very best that money can buy, and you are not content with anything that is second best. You are quick to size up others, and this appraisal is based upon their physical appearance, their clothes, and whether they have achieved material success and the standards of quality that you have set in your own mind. You have a keen business sense, knowing a lucrative proposition when it is presented, and it is likely others would come to you for business counsel. You are a capable leader and organizer who should never be in a subordinate position. You have the ability to organize and see the whole picture where any prospective business venture is concerned."

"All that and destined to be a democrat," said Denny. "Imagine that."

"We choose it one night after watching One True Thing," explained Maria. "We were watching the credits, because, yes, we are that nerdy, and saw the name Alexandria gently roll across the screen. I knew the minute I saw it. That was it."

"Maria brought it up that night," said Denny. "She said that she had selected that name when she was in high school as one of the names she would like to give a child some day. She also mentioned that it was the name of the great Library, which fits in with our love of books."

"When we got to the hospital, I had honestly forgotten about it," Denny continued. "I told Maria we still needed to pick a middle name and got a confused/hurt/potentially deadly look that immediately reminded me of the conversation we had the night of the movie. You most definitely do not tell a woman who is about to endure excruiciating pain in an effort to bring your child into the world that you are having second thoughts about a name she has been in love with since 1988."